Poem: Sloppy Smiles

I’m not smiling because I’m happy
I’m smiling because I’m wrecked
Because for a weekend I can heal
The bleeding head from all the pecks
From the pecking order
I can cut the cord
And breathe with my friends
We’re not gonna stop til the very end
Pub
Club
After party
House party
Couple of hours passing for sleep
Then back to the pub
I don’t even know if I’m enjoying it anymore
It’s my only chance
I’ve been talking to fucking idiots all week
And now I just wanna dance
To feel something pure
The blinking of computer screens lighting up my face
Is replaced by roaming strobes
And drum n bass
Sad or happy?
Who cares?
I’m ignoring all peripheral wears and tears
And I’ll get hammered quicker if my dinner is just this cheese melt
Fuck the recession making me tighten my belt

It’s elemental now
Just stinging sweat and this sticky floor
Just the lights, the beats, my feet and nothing more
Avoiding Monday kicking in my bedroom door
And shackling my ankles
And, bleeding and sore,
Dragging me to work
To avoid being poor

Flashes of the news talking about binge drinking
Thinking they’re linking it all together
… whatever…
They’e saying I’m to blame
Over the centuries, it’s always the same
Just another scapegoat
Older generations scared of the young
No idea about this pill tripping to my throat from the tip of my tounge
Unaware that the system they’ve created
Cremates my faith and makes me not care
I’ve got loads of surplus cash but so little time to spare
So how fucking dare they?
As I pour my heart out
Eight hours a day
Five days a week
Then say it’s wrong for me to get twatted
And feel strong for once
Those hypocritical cunts

Maybe I just want a taste of feeling
Maybe it’s a simulation of love I’m needing
Give my reality a tweak
Then maybe, just maybe
I can make it through next week