Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Poem: Sloppy Smiles

I’m not smiling because I’m happy
I’m smiling because I’m wrecked
Because for a weekend I can heal
The bleeding head from all the pecks
From the pecking order
I can cut the cord
And breathe with my friends
We’re not gonna stop til the very end
After party
House party
Couple of hours passing for sleep
Then back to the pub
I don’t even know if I’m enjoying it anymore
It’s my only chance
I’ve been talking to fucking idiots all week
And now I just wanna dance
To feel something pure
The blinking of computer screens lighting up my face
Is replaced by roaming strobes
And drum n bass
Sad or happy?
Who cares?
I’m ignoring all peripheral wears and tears
And I’ll get hammered quicker if my dinner is just this cheese melt
Fuck the recession making me tighten my belt

It’s elemental now
Just stinging sweat and this sticky floor
Just the lights, the beats, my feet and nothing more
Avoiding Monday kicking in my bedroom door
And shackling my ankles
And, bleeding and sore,
Dragging me to work
To avoid being poor

Flashes of the news talking about binge drinking
Thinking they’re linking it all together
… whatever…
They’e saying I’m to blame
Over the centuries, it’s always the same
Just another scapegoat
Older generations scared of the young
No idea about this pill tripping to my throat from the tip of my tounge
Unaware that the system they’ve created
Cremates my faith and makes me not care
I’ve got loads of surplus cash but so little time to spare
So how fucking dare they?
As I pour my heart out
Eight hours a day
Five days a week
Then say it’s wrong for me to get twatted
And feel strong for once
Those hypocritical cunts

Maybe I just want a taste of feeling
Maybe it’s a simulation of love I’m needing
Give my reality a tweak
Then maybe, just maybe
I can make it through next week

Poem: Bored

I’m bored
I’m bored of being bored
I’m bored of being bored of being bored
I’m bored with being so bored
That all I can do is sit and reflect on how bored I am
I’m bored of the left
I’m bored of the right
I’m bored of being told that the only options are fight or flight
When the option that most people choose
Is simply being bored
I’m bored of working
I’m bored of staring at the abyss of my overdraft
I’m bored of it being someone’s birthday every fucking weekend
And not having the money to buy drinks
And it makes me feel like a cunt when someone offers to buy me drinks
On their own birthday
I’m bored of seeing the same people at every party
And having nothing to say
I’m bored of getting needy to all the new people I meet
Because I’m so pathetically desperate for something new
(and cheap)
And friendship apparently costs nothing
So it fits into my budget perfectly
I’m getting bored of me and everyone I know
Casually shagging, then dating
Then going out with each other, breaking up
And then going back to casually shagging to start the whole sorry predictable joke
All over again
I’m bored of debating
I’m bored of staying up too late
Pissing about on the Facebook for no reason
Other than to avoid doing something productive
I’m bored of teenagers being loud on the bus
And I’m sorry but sometimes I don’t give a shit about the social and economic conditions
That cause you to behave in such a way
Sometimes I just want you to shut the fuck up and turn your fucking mobile phone off
I’m bored of your face
I’m bored of this street
This town
This city
This country
This continent
This world
I’m so bored I could kill myself
But it’s so much fucking effort
I’m bored of this poem
I’m bored of my voice